donpurdum
I hear it all the time… “The most important thing to me is my kids.”
This is one of the most destructive ideas ever known to marriage.
Why?
Aren’t we supposed to take care of our kids?
Aren’t we supposed to love our kids and provide for them?
Absolutely.
That’s not what I’m talking about.
What I’m talking about is misplacing your priorities. When you put your kids ahead of your spouse, you have things out of God’s order. When we get things out of God’s order, it creates resentment, anger, and bitterness.
Here’s why…
Your marriage is a covenant relationship between the two of you and God. In the act of marriage, God brought you together and made you ONE.
In other words, your interests aren’t based on any other relationship. It’s based on the two of you. You became one flesh, sealed with a vow and consummate in the act of the most intimate act possible — The giving your minds and bodies to one another.
You don’t share this spiritual and physical bond with your children.
In fact, one day your children will leave your home and assume their own lives.
Twenty years ago, as a young man in ministry, I heard couples individually tell me the same thing over and over again as they faced becoming empty nesters.
They said, “Don, I’m scared of what’s going to happen after our youngest child leaves the house for college. I’m realizing I don’t know my (husband or wife) and I’m not sure I like what I see in (him or her).”
See, the marriage was built around the kids, not each other.
The implications are significant.
First, as the kids grew up they were taught they were the center of the universe when it should have been the two of you. They were robbed of seeing their parents model marriage for them the way God intended. What we model in our marriages will have a profound impact on our kids’ lives as adults — For better or worse.
Second, not only did God make you one, but He meant for you to live your entire lives together. As I said, your kids will leave. What will remain is the two of you. How you manage your household while you have kids at home will go a long way toward determining what your life will look like after the kids are gone.
If one partner elevates the kids above the other, you’ve misplaced God’s priority for marriage.
The Bible tells us that a man and woman should leave their parents and cling to one another and become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).
I want to address the word “divorce.”
Divorce is the ripping apart of a marriage covenant that God put together. Notice that it only applies to a spouse. Divorce does not apply to a relationship between parents and their kids.
God ordained marriage as the supreme relationship above all others — Yes, even your children.
When one spouse elevates their relationship with their children over their partner, it’s without saying there are bound to be feelings of abandonment, loneliness, jealousy, envy, anger, resentment, and bitterness.
How could it not?
You said “I do” to your spouse and committed before God in one flesh to live your entire lives together. You didn’t make that commitment to your children.
So, the question is, is it sinful to elevate your children about your spouse?
I’ll answer for you… Yes, it is.
If you realize this is a challenge in your marriage and you don’t have the tools or skills to resolve conflict, there is hope. If you want healing and restoration but don’t know where to start, hope and help exist…
There is hope for your marriage!!!
For a very limited time, I’m opening up my exclusive Miracle Marriage Mentorship – normally reserved for private clients – completely FREE for 14 days.
Inside, you’ll discover:
- Two powerful weekly group sessions with direct access to me
- The Biblical blueprint that’s helping Christians win back their spouses
- Live “Workshop Calls” where I personally address YOUR exact situation
- A supportive brotherhood of Christian men fighting for their marriages
- Emergency access to our private community
Plus, I’ll reveal the hidden spiritual attack that’s targeting Christian marriages (hint: it’s NOT what most marriage counselors think)
This special 14-day trial closes soon.
God is offering you a path forward.
When you claim your free 1-1 call you can get access to the entire mentorship program – completely free – for 14 days.
But I have to warn you, this is for a VERY limited time.
We’re doing this as our “Black Friday” special, and we’re starting it early.
So if you want me to help you FREE for two weeks, this is your absolute best chance.
Blessings to You!
Fr. Don
