donpurdum
When I met Joe, his marriage was on the rocks. He wasn’t sure if his 13-year marriage would survive any longer.
He and his wife, Deanna, fought like cats and dogs. They couldn’t get through a conversation without it devolving into a big “thing.”
What they didn’t know was this… the fighting wasn’t about the thing they were fighting over.
Both were making “assumptions” about the other… Their thoughts, feelings, and motives.”
It was so bad that simple everyday things became a controversy.
Nothing will lead to the courthouse faster than assumptions.
Why and how does this happen?
Somewhere along the way, confidence and trust eroded. Maybe it was a white lie (which is still a lie), withholding physical intimacy, or making financial decisions without consulting the other spouse.
Repeated over and over again, negative emotions can take over, and sooner than later trust is broken so deeply that neither of you can see your way out of the problem.
When things get bad enough, couples are left to make assumptions about one another based on circumstantial evidence rooted in emotion over facts.
All that’s left is the shambles of what once was a hope for an incredible life together.
It doesn’t have to be this way. There is hope!!!
What is this adversity in your marriage really rooted in?
One word — FEAR.
Fear of not being right, fear of not feeling respected, loved, or appreciated.
Fear of losing your spouse and family, security, and what your family and friends will think.
When we’re afraid, assumptions are free to run wild. This is when you’re most vulnerable.
Have you ever had a gut feeling and assumed that something horrible was about to happen? Only to find out that you were completely wrong? Afterward, you realized that you were heartbroken and hurt over what?
Nothing.
Fear will drive people to assume the worst. Jesus told us in Matthew 6:25-34 that fear, worry, and anxiety are the opposite of faith.
So, how do we overcome making assumptions rooted in fear?
It starts through transparency, and transparency is rooted in talking with one another.
Learn how to talk with your spouse without yelling at one another.
Listen before you speak, and don’t speak over each other.
Try putting yourself in one another’s shoes.
What you may learn is that you were miscommunicating and misunderstanding one another and that your assumptions were all wrong.
You both may have felt the other didn’t care. In truth, if either of you didn’t care you wouldn’t be hurt or angry.
I hear it all the time, she doesn’t love me anymore. Yet, her actions aren’t saying that. She’s still here. She’s still in it. She’s still trying. She’s still making the effort.
That’s not indicative of a person who doesn’t have love or isn’t committed to your marriage.
Assumptions are tools of Satan and our sin.
Don’t give in to them.
Instead, clear your mind and deal with what you know, not what you think you know or how you feel. Try living the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22 – Love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
It just may change your marriage forever!
There is hope for your marriage!!!
For a very limited time, I’m opening up my exclusive Miracle Marriage Mentorship – normally reserved for private clients – completely FREE for 14 days.
Inside, you’ll discover:
- Two powerful weekly group sessions with direct access to me
- The Biblical blueprint that’s helping Christians win back their spouses
- Live “Workshop Calls” where I personally address YOUR exact situation
- A supportive brotherhood of Christian men fighting for their marriages
- Emergency access to our private community
Plus, I’ll reveal the hidden spiritual attack that’s targeting Christian marriages (hint: it’s NOT what most marriage counselors think)
This special 14-day trial closes soon.
God is offering you a path forward.
When you claim your free 1-1 call you can get access to the entire mentorship program – completely free – for 14 days.
But I have to warn you, this is for a VERY limited time.
We’re doing this as our “Black Friday” special, and we’re starting it early.
So if you want me to help you FREE for two weeks, this is your absolute best chance.
Blessings to You!
Fr. Don
