Since the beginning of time, people have spoken harshly towards one another. One of the smallest members of our bodies, the tongue, has been responsible for a lot of havoc over the centuries. It’s the root of harsh feelings, bitterness, divisions, and wars.

Social media has flung the doors wide for people to use harsh and uncareful words among people we may never know or meet. More times than not, I read things that are downright accusatory, unnecessary, rude, and inflammatory. Christians often come off as angry and divisive.

Ahead of the American Revolution, members of Congress got rather cantankerous with one another as they sought to remedy the situation with King George III. One of the frontline members advocating staunchly for separation was John Adams. He was fiery, direct, pointed, and sometimes insulting in a period when doing so was considered bad manners and oftentimes unforgivable.

Adams once asked Benjamin Franklin why he shouldn’t speak his mind out loud. Franklin responded, 

“Thinking aloud is a habit which is responsible for most of mankind’s misery.”

Those were wise words we should heed.

As Christians, we often speak harshly to and of one another. I’ve heard Christian leaders condemn others without cause and often over petty issues. Some declare that their brand of Christianity is the only legitimate one.

Today, I’m not going to get into a deep discussion about church history. I’ll save that for another day. Still, there can be no doubt that over the centuries church leaders have made a mess of things. 

The Pope (i.e. Bishop) of Rome and his followers broke from the church between 950ish and 1300 and formed their own brand of Christianity. This is why the Eastern Church (Orthodox) and Western Church (Catholic) came into existence. For a thousand years, there was no division such as this. The schism between the two still exists to this day and for good reasons.

In the 1500s, Protestants (i.e. “protestors”) broke away from the Catholic Church. Oddly, the Popes declared protestants heretics for seeking to restore the Church to Christ and Scripture. Still, over the last 500 years protestants have divided, splintered, and various groups declared themselves the only way to Christ.

Today, everyone is flinging arrows at everyone else. We are more divided than ever and Satan loves it when we attack each other. Our careless words not only divide us from one another, it shows the world around us that Christ isn’t worth following.

I want us to turn to Matthew 12:24-37. 

In this passage, Jesus cast out a demon of a blind and deaf man and restored both his soul and his body. The Pharisees called out Jesus as a heretic. Even worse, they claimed he was Satan – i.e., “Beelzebul the ruler of demons.”

In verse 25, Jesus corrects them by saying a house divided cannot stand. They were supposed to be priests who cared for God’s people. Instead, the Pharisees, Sanhedrin, and Scribes were corrupt. They used their positions to gain favor with one another and Scripture to justify their personal kingdom-building under the guise that they were holy and everyone else was not.

Does this sound familiar?

From verses 26-35 Jesus’ condemnation of the religious leaders builds to the pinnacle. In verse 34, He calls them a “brood of vipers” and asks them how they could say anything good.

In verse 36 our Lord says, “But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an account for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

The Greek phrase rema argos means“careless or inactive or unprofitable words.” Jesus warned them, and us, to make the best use of our words because words express what is in our hearts. Our choice of words gauges our spiritual condition.

Out of our mouths comes the intent of the heart.

Jesus warns us to be careful with “careless” words.

When we judge others harshly, it says much about our spiritual condition. Our word choices have the power to justify or condemn us, Jesus said.

Ephesians 4:29 sets the standard: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

James 3:8 says, “No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” Then in James 4:11-12, “Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?”

So, when one declares another person outside of the Church or Christ in a harsh and judgemental way, what profit does it gain for those being spoken of or to? Why should they listen to someone like this? In what way are those using careless words different from the religious leaders or zealots of Jesus’ day?

Using careless words of judgment and bold unnecessary declarations doesn’t win favor with those who genuinely seek Christ but may be in an imperfect situation. When someone declares another outside of Jesus Christ of Nazareth who has genuinely sought Him, reads Scripture, prays to Him, relies upon the Holy Spirit, and gathers with other believers — but has grown up in another denomination, Catholicism, or Orthodoxy (or is a convert), we should be lifting them up and encouraging them.

Not demonizing one another.

As a young man, I struggled with getting my tongue under control. I have the spiritual gift of exhortation. If not harnessed and given over to the Holy Spirit, I can use this gift unwisely and carelessly. It’s no problem for me to cut people down. I’ve had to learn for nearly 30 years how and when to use this amazing gift God has given to me.

I understand deep passions.

Yet, speaking our minds will lead to all kinds of problems. More times than not, good intentions can turn into sinful acts.

The Christian world is hopelessly divided because of our sins. Our Lord warned us against this. Granted, it was likely inevitable. We are fallible human beings.

Instead of speaking condemningly, words can have the power of redemption and restoration. It’s good, healthy, and wise to share our theologies, doctrinal positions, and church polities with one another. 

It’s not healthy to condemn one another. Listening is a powerful tool. When we take the time to use our two ears instead of our one tongue, we can talk with one another. Seek to understand. Build influence, and win favor to present a differing viewpoint.

If only God can forgive sins, then only God can condemn people or those in His church.

As an Orthodox Christian, it is my responsibility to share the Scripture, the history of the Church Fathers and the ancient Church, and church history, and make a case for my beliefs. It’s my responsibility to warn others who claim to be Christians of false teachings and beliefs, and who use careless words. 

Yet, I can do so without being abrasive with others who claim Christ as their Savior. If someone chooses not to listen or has an argumentative spirit, my response is to walk away. I won’t engage. They are not my responsibility. The outcome of their life belongs to God.

So, the question for each of us is, how can we build influence and the right to speak with those who disagree with us and we with them?

Surely it isn’t to allow one of the smallest and most destructive parts of our body to ruin our testimony and faith by condemning people unnecessarily who read our social media posts, articles, or listen to our podcasts, or watch videos.

You can say whatever you like about me. I’ve gotten comfortable in my skin and in my faith and relationship with my Father in Heaven. My response will be to show you good fruit the best way I can in the Holy Spirit.

I challenge us all… Let’s avoid careless words that could condemn us and instead focus on words that justify us.

Blessings to you,

Father Don