It’s been a few days since I last wrote or did a podcast. Sometimes, I just needed time to pause, think, and reflect. Last week was interesting, while I didn’t feel it intensely, there was spiritual warfare.

Why would I say this?

Last Tuesday, I launched a Bible study in our home. It was one of the most consequential and self-revealing studies I’ve done in decades. For so long, I didn’t realize how my sin was wrecking me. It was sabotaging my relationship with Christ. I thought and believed I was doing the right thing in my despair over church practices (i.e., polity) I thought were abhorrent. 

I couldn’t have been more wrong. Instead of being an agent for positive change, I unintentionally sinned by removing myself from God’s people. I unintentionally fell into a belief that I was somehow better than my brothers and sisters. The worst part of it was I didn’t even see this in myself and found cover with others who bought the same story. I believed that “religion” had failed me. That was true, but there is so much more to Christianity than religion.

No matter how right my cause was I ultimately was rebelling from God.

Without realizing it, I got caught up in the way the world does things instead of seeking first the Kingdom of Heaven. It’s one of the worst kinds of traps Satan sets for us and many all too willingly take the bait.

As the Lord has revealed the error of my thinking over the last year, I went head first into a repentant state. I asked our Lord to forgive my sins. I shared my struggles with my Bishop in confession. God has restored His calling upon my life to pursue ministry and serving people without the hang ups of trivial things.

The experience has led me to a number of questions. The answers I arrived at culminated in this… When our ideals or dreams counter Jesus’ exhortation that we seek His Kingdom over all else, the results are devastating.

We know in the Old Testament there are numerous words for God and love. In Bible college and seminary, we studied them at length. The Hebrew words describe different characteristics of God or attributes of love. 

Still, I had an idea. As I’ve discussed in recent weeks, there is so much more to the gift of God’s salvation and grace than what’s on the surface. It’s so much deeper than an altar call or prayer. It’s more consequential than not going to hell. It’s greater than anything we can imagine.

So, I did something I’ve not done before. I dived into sin.

Well, not literally, lol. What I did was some research to learn if there are specific Hebrew words in the Old Testament for sin. If there were numerous words for God and love that help us understand Him and the attributes of love, mayber the same was true for sin.

Sure enough, I was right.

More on that in a moment…

Satan can’t have this spreading like wild fire. For sure, it was too eye opening. Anyone who knows me knows that a new perspective only encourages me to go deeper. That’s the kind of relationship I have with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 

I love to learn. I love to research. I love to share my findings.

It’s how I’m wired.

Still, it’s one thing to write online and do video or audio podcasts that reach people from a distance. It’s another thing to have real people in our home that we are praying with and for and sharing God’s Word with on a weekly basis. 

This is where discipleship actually happens.

Satan and His demons will not accept this lying down if there is a chance God’s Kingdom will be advanced and the seeds of another Holy Church may rise from the dirt of the ground.

Last Tuesday’s Bible study evening went exactly as I thought it would. I don’t know about you, but whenever I start something new I have grandiose ideas about how it’s going to go. I’m an eternal optimist, so I always see the best outcome in my mind. Yet, I also knew in this case it likely wouldn’t come anywhere near my hopes. I was right, not a single person was able to make it for one legitimate reason after another.

So, what did I do? 

I recorded the Bible study in a podcast titled, “What Is Sin And It’s Relationship To Salvation In the Old Testament? Is It More Nuanced Than Typically Portrayed?“

See, understanding God’s view of sin changed everything for me.

It added to the foundation of my understanding of salvation, which I will expand upon in the coming weeks whether anyone shows up or not.

What were these words?

I’ll cover them briefly, but if you want to know the details, here is the link again to the podcast.

• Hātā – Erring, doing wrong, missing the mark, going astray.
• Pāšāʿ – Willful rebellion against God or people. To break with God. Refers to an act.
• Sāra – Departure from a path or stubborn deviation.
• Maʿal – Treachery or unfaithfulness.
• Toʿēba – Repulsive or abhor, or abomination.
• ʾārar – A curse of formal declaration of punishment.
• ʿawon – Perversity, depravity,  or guild. 

In our English translations of the Old Testament, you will see hātā used generically for the word sin, pāšāʿ as “trangression,” and ʿawon as “inequity.” Other words are used less frequently but are there if you know what to look for based on the words used in the translation… They are not as numerous as the top three.

These words completely changed the meaning of sin for me, which we often generically define. Rarely do we speak of the generic term as something this specific. This becomes important for a variety of reasons, which, again, I shared in the podcast. Understanding this changes the profound meaning of salvation as it is revealed in the prophets and later in Christ and the Apostles.

So, needless to say, I needed time to process all of this. It’s an exciting enlightment, but it also changes my relationship with Jesus. It’s more profound. It’s more meaningful. It’s also more surreal.

It means more is required of me. 

It’s a daunting responsibility. 

James 3:1 says, “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.”

Being a member of the clergy is not a task most should seek. It comes with added responsibilities and accountabilities — both before God and people. 

I take this responsibility seriously.

Still, I’m here and I’m available. Regardless of whether or not anyone shows up to a Bible study, I am available. Bishop Daniels reminded me that is what God asks of me.

You may feel disillusioned and hurt by the church as I once did. I learned that the answer is simple but deeply revealing — Seek first His Kingdom! When you do, the lost opportunities of the past and shattered dreams will become a blessing and not curse.

Every experience in life is about how you are looking at it — is it about you or is about Him.

I’m going to start something new today. Everyday, I’m going to share an online daily video prayer with you. Many of these will be ancient prayers. Others will be liturgical ones. I hope to inspire, encourage, and enrich your faith through these videos. I’m also going to dive into more cultural issues while continuing to do what I love — Sharing the insights the Holy Spirit gives me into His Word.

So, let’s go deeper together.

Blessing to you!

Father Don